NZDF

What are some of the things I can say and do?

Little things like offering to babysit or ringing to say “hello” can help.

Give support, not advice.

Listen. Challenge the behaviour, not the person.

Take violence seriously. Think about safety.

Don’t make excuses for the violence.

Don’t intervene in a violent situation or when people are angry or drunk. Choose a quiet time.

Ask:

  • Are you OK?
  • Is someone hurting you?
  • Are you scared to go home?
  • Is there anything I can do?
  • Are you worried about hurting or scaring your partner/children?

Say:

  • It’s not OK that your kids are scared of you.
  • It’s not your fault someone is hurting you.
  • When you’re ready, I’m here.
  • It’s not OK that you are being hurt.

Do:

  • Keep in touch.
  • Call to say “hi”.
  • Listen.
  • Be there.
  • Keep the door open.
  • Offer practical help.
  • Offer a safe place to go.
  • Find out about family violence and help services.
This page was last reviewed on 13 July 2016.